


Time Is On My Side

by HexMeridian (myrainbowshoelaces)



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Anal Sex, Established Relationship, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Fluff and Smut, Hermaphroditic Trolls, Light BDSM, M/M, Multi, Post-Endgame, Post-Sburb/Sgrub, Praise Kink, Reunion Sex, Tentabulges, Threesome, Threesome - F/M/M, Xeno
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-01
Updated: 2016-07-01
Packaged: 2018-07-19 11:32:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,201
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7359550
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/myrainbowshoelaces/pseuds/HexMeridian
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Since the game ended, Dave Strider’s been on his own personal mission to protect and stabilize the timeline for two years. When he finally gets home, he’s ready for a reunion.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Time Is On My Side

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Makizushi](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Makizushi/gifts).



You’ve been hopping through time for what pretty much feels like forever. You know it isn’t though. You know time and so know exactly how long it’s been (two years, fifty six days, seventeen hours, six minutes, two seconds) since you started this mission, this mad journey through paradox space, and you said goodbye to all your friends knowing it’d be a while before you’d see them again.

You helped create a new universe, a home worth saving, but you had to keep making good on that. Wear the cape, be the knight. Gotta keep going, non-stop timehop, spot the dangers and close the loops, lock that shit down so hard it’s gonna need fifty keys, a ten digit passcode, and a fingerprint scanner to ever get the fuck out. It’s done. You did it. You succeeded.

Sweet mother of _fuck_ you are tired.

You’re tired but you have been waiting for this. You’ve followed the timestream’s loops to the letter, down to the second, the microsecond. Shit is so stable you could build a china shop on top of it next to a store for fragile glass wizards. You’ve been so in line you could have been drawn with a ruler, played the part of a sweet coat rack, shit, so in line you could almost call yourself straight again.

Not that you would. That metaphor ran away with you a bit there. Tends to happen when you have next to no company but yourself for so long. You’ve been talking to yourself so much you’re sick of the sound of your own voice.

It’s been two years and fifty six days and seventeen hours and six minutes and ten seconds and you are so _beyond_ ready for this.

You take a deep breath and move through the timestream again, the persistent ticking echoing in your ears and humming through your blood, and when you emerge in the present it’s night and fireflies float lazily through the sky and you pick up the smell of autumn leaves on the wind. There’s a shadowy cylindrical house in front of you, the windows glittering with soft light and hung with lush plant life. It’s been a while, but you’d recognize home anywhere.

Can Town. You’re back.

It is the right place, and the right time, and _holy fuck_ , you’re finally home.

You grab your phone out of your sylladex and open up Pesterchum. You have a message waiting for you and you smile.

\-- carcinoGeneticist [CG] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG] at 21:23 --

CG: OKAY  
CG: IT’S THE TENTH PERIGEE IN THE SECOND OF NEW EARTH’S BULLSHIT WHAT THE FUCK EVER SORTA-SWEEP SYSTEM AND IT’S TWENTY THREE MINUTES AFTER NINE AT NIGHT  
CG: WE’VE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS DAY SINCE YOU LEFT THAT BULLSHIT NOTE ON THE THERMAL HULL AND WENT OUT TO PLAY HERO  
CG: AND IF YOU AREN’T OUTSIDE THE HIVE RIGHT THIS FUCKING SECOND I WILL FIND A WAY TO DRAG YOU THROUGH TIME AND SPACE MYSELF TO BRING YOU HERE.  
CG: SO TELL ME, COOLDOUCHE  
CG: YOU SAID THIS WAS IT  
CG: SO  
CG: IS IT FUCKING TIME YET?  
TG: yeah  
CG: HOLY FUCK  
TG: hey  
CG: YOU’RE ACTUALLY HERE?  
TG: you thought i’d leave you hanging  
TG: give me some credit karkat i’m not a complete asshole  
CG: FUCK YOU  
CG: GET THE FUCK UPSTAIRS BEFORE I MAKE JADE TELEPORT YOU UP HERE YOU FUCK  
TG: be right up

\-- turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering carcinoGeneticist [CG] at 21:25 --

One of the windows near the top of the can gets thrown open and you look up to see two familiar faces staring down at you. Jade, her mouth split in a smile that could stop your heart. Karkat, his eyes glittering in the moonlight, unable to hide his joy even through his disgruntled exterior. You resist the urge to freeze time and really get a look at them, how the fuck did you survive being away for so goddamn long?

You feel like you’ve been punched in the gut with how much you’ve missed them.

You lift up a hand and give them a stoic wave. “Sup.”

They both start yelling at you.

“Oh my God, Dave!-”

“HOLY FUCK-”

“It’s really you!-”

“GET YOUR SQUISHY PINK ASS UP HERE, STRIDER!”

You float off the ground, cape fluttering in the night breeze, rising up until you’re level with the window. The two of them are still yelling, cheering, cursing, shoving each other, leaning out over the windowsill like they’re trying to catch hold of you even when you’re still out of reach.

You crack a smile in spite of yourself. They’ve been waiting for this as much as you have.

You finally get in range of their arms and they grab you, dragging you unceremoniously through the window in a tangle of limbs and god tier pyjamas until _ohfuck_ you all collapse on the floor in a pile. Suddenly everything is laughter and more swearing and hands you haven’t felt in so long, arms you’ve been aching for every time you’ve woken up from nightmares of what it would mean to never come back, of losing them for good, the two people who mean most to you in the whole of motherfucking paradox space, and _holy fuck you’re here with them at fucking last._

You end up flipped over onto your back, Jade flopped against your left side and Karkat on top of you, and the three of you are breathless and slightly disoriented. You look up at your alien boyfriend and realize he’s gotten bigger and taller, still not nearing the heights of his friends but definitely breaking six feet, and his eyes have shifted from their previous yellow and grey to a bright cherry red that matches your own. He looks older and more alien, sharper and more angled, and _holy fuck he’s got muscles now, was he smuggling mangoes in his biceps?_ Jade looks different too, not quite mango-smuggling muscular but definitely in all kinds of good shape, and the dog ears, _have they always looked that good? Guess you’re still furry garbage, hot damn._

You stare back and forth at each of them and remember you’ve had dreams like this. Ever since you got to the new universe, since the three of you started hanging out more, since the night before you got the call from Rose that you had to start playing personal clean up crew to the time shenanigans of an entire fucking universe and the three of you finally started figuring out just what the hell you were feeling for each other.

Two years, fifty six days, seventeen hours, twelve minutes, forty seconds. That’s how long it’s been since you kissed the angry troll you’ve loved desperately since you were fifteen, since you kissed the human girl turned space-witch-dog-woman you’d wanted to be with since before you hit puberty.

It isn’t a dream. They’re here with you, holding you, and they’re beautiful and they’re perfect and holy shit they’re actually _yours_.

Karkat looks down at you and gives you a scowl that doesn’t quite reach his eyes. “About fucking time you got back,” he says. “It was getting too quiet around here.”

He leans in and he kisses you hard, the back of your head hitting the floor as his lips press against yours with a desperate fervor. Your hands reach up and find his waist, pulling him tight against you as the kiss deepens, and he tastes like cinnamon and sweat and everything that has ever been fundamentally Karkat, just _Karkat_ , and his sharp teeth are pressing against your bottom lip ever so slightly, just enough to make you groan.

Holy fucking shit on a hockey stick you missed him.

The two of you come up for air only at the sound of Jade’s giggles, and you turn to look at her, sure your face is red, your shades askew. Is it hot in here, or is it just them? Karkat chuckles above you and you just know that he’s looking smug, he’s always been proud of what his kisses can do to you.

Jade leans in. “My turn,” she grins, her eyes sparkling.

Before you can say anything she grabs you by the collar and gives you a tug, catching your mouth with hers and winding her arms around your neck. Jade and Karkat have always kissed differently but you revel in how clear the difference is after so long, how her mouth is soft and her tongue constantly exploring, the little whimpers that escape her as you move one arm away from Karkat and press it against her cheek. She tastes like mint and chamomile and one of her hands cups your neck, drawing you in closer until everything else in your mind is blanked out, nothing left but her.

Then you feel Karkat lean down to run his tongue along your neck and your brain makes space for him. Holy fuck, has his tongue always felt that good, or is it another side effect of him going through troll puberty? You feel a stirring in your pants and you suddenly feel monumentally overdressed. Also that your companions are monumentally overdressed. It was definitely hot in here, shit, it was the surface of the sun and you were about to go supernova.

Jade finally breaks the kiss and you let your head fall back on the floor again, staring at both of them in a daze. You wonder briefly where the fuck your shades went until you see them in Jade’s free hand, her expression as smug as Karkat’s.

“So I’m curious,” you say, pretty sure that your hand on Jade’s cheek is sweaty, the arm you have around Karkat’s waist is shaking. “How did you two decide who got to kiss me first?”

“It was a long and arduous competition,” Karkat says, his smug grin deepening. “In which I absolutely dominated Harley’s ass.”

“In more ways than one,” Jade giggles, making your entire stomach flip upside down and your pants feel way too tight. “But yeah, we had a friendly competition going on over the last sweep. Karkat won, just barely.”

“With my kiss as the prize?” you grin.

“Don’t get all cocky, you insufferable douche,” Karkat leans down and trails a line of kisses down your neck, making your hair stand on end. “I just wasn’t gonna lose to a human with barkbeast ears, my pride as a leader was at stake.”

“And had nothing whatsoever to do with how much you missed the magical taste of my legendary lips?” your grin upgrades to a smirk.

“Shut up,” Karkat mumbles, kissing up your jaw to reach your mouth again, and you’re once again overwhelmed with the taste of cinnamon and a long absent but familiar ache in your groin. Even after thousands of hours apart, you remember the way he moves, the way he begins to purr if you run a hand up to the back of his head _just like that there it is, yes,_ the way his kisses become more frantic, more desperate if you run your other hand around to rest on his perfectly shaped ass and give it a friendly ‘hey, I missed you’ squeeze.

You continue to squeeze and consider building a monument to celebrate the ass of Karkat Vantas, sexiest alien boyfriend in the whole of paradox space. You feel pretty sure Jade would help. You know she agrees.

Jade slips a hand into yours and pushes you back until the two of them have you pinned to the floor. Her face presses against yours and she plants a few kisses along your cheek, runs her tongue up to your ear. It’s a sensory overload and your cock makes a valiant attempt to burst right your pants, xenomorph style, straining against fabric and making you groan a little louder and longer.

“Sounds like you missed us too,” Jade whispers in your ear. You feel her free hand slip down between you and Karkat and brush lightly but deliberately up your leg towards your crotch. You freeze as her hand teases at your cock through your pants. “And it sure feels like it.”

You hear Karkat laugh against your lips. “Nice to know some things haven’t changed,” he says, his voice a soft growl.

“Hey, nothing could change how this feels,” you protest. “The day it stops feeling fucking amazing for the two of you to touch me is the actual apocalypse, one we can’t prevent through sweet as fuck god powers, it’ll be the end of everything, seas rising, fires burning, dogs and cats living together, mass hysteria.” Fuck, you’re rambling again, and are you seriously quoting _Ghostbusters?_ Get it together Strider, fuck.

Jade giggles again and leans up, giving Karkat a kiss on the cheek. You hear him start to purr again and he turns his head slightly to meet her lips, and the two of them kissing is somehow more arousing than anything they had been doing with you. Clearly they’d made good use of the time you’d been gone. A small, mostly dormant part of your brain attempts to get green eyed and monstrous. You shove this away easily by focusing in on the curl of Jade’s hair around Karkat’s horns and the feel of their weight on top of you. Fuck jealousy, this was a front row seat to the greatest show on new Earth, an all access pass to the hottest people you’ve ever had the pleasure to get your sloppy makeouts on with, and they were on top of you doing everything they could think of to make up for two years and fifty-six days of being apart from you.

They break apart and return their attention to you, your head back on the floor again as your brain attempts to short circuit, the two of them each taking a side and kissing down your cheeks, your chin, your neck. Jade’s hand is back to its previous position and making a bold expedition down the front of your pants, while Karkat’s hands are tugging at your shirt so that his claws brush against your stomach, hard enough not to tickle but not enough to leave any marks, and making you squirm.

“Nnnnnngh,” you gasp out, ever the pinnacle of coherence, as you feel Jade’s hand slip inside your boxers and wrap gently around your cock. “Fffffuck.”

“Missed you too,” Jade murmurs against your neck, and she continues to trail kisses down your neck and chest as Karkat works on pulling up your shirt, leaning back to try and tug it over your head.

“Whoa,” you say, breathless and grinning. “What, no ‘hi honey, how was your trip’? We’re jumping straight to the part where you tear my clothes off?”

Karkat tugs your shirt over your head and flings it across the room so violently it almost knocks over a lamp. He grabs you by the neck with one hand and tilts your head up so you’re staring into his eyes. Jade chooses that exact moment to give your dick an experimental stroke and you try not to straight up come in your pants right there and then, _holy shit are your boyfriend and girlfriend telepathic or something, how are they doing this to you?_

Karkat turns your head gently but firmly and growls a request into your ear. “Shut the fuck up and take off your pants.”

You feel more pressure against your crotch and glance down. Jade is rubbing her lips on your cock through the fabric of your god tier pyjamas and looking up at you with wide green eyes that make you feel like you’re gonna straight up melt. “Yeah,” she says, moving her lips just enough to make your cock twitch again as she speaks. “I’m with Karkat here. Pants off, on the double.”

“Can you two just order me around for the rest of my life?” you mumble weakly as you reach down to fumble at the zipper on your pants. The day you figure out how to captchalogue clothes right off your own body will be a coup for your raging hormones, you will patent that technology and sell it by the boonbuck. “I don’t need free will, that shit is beyond overrated, you can just keep me here, maybe chain me to something, like, permanently, long as you remember to feed me and occasionally take me out for a walk I should be fiMMMMPPHH.”

Karkat cuts you off with a kiss, your words dissolving into groans, which get louder as Jade finishes tugging off your pants and pulling down your boxers. Before you know what’s happening her mouth is around you and she’s sucking on your cock and your eyes are rolling back in your head because _oh fuck that is so incredible sweet merciful bro and hella fucking jeff she is playing tonsil hockey with your dong and you never want her to stop._

Karkat breaks away and leans back again, his eyes dancing with fire and a hunger you missed more than you’d normally ever let your coolkid exterior admit, but fuck that, they’ve got you naked on the floor and you’ve barely been home five minutes, the only thing cool about this situation is the breeze around your balls, you can admit you missed the way Karkat looks at you like you’re a three course meal and he’s starving.

“Strider,” he whispers, running a claw along your bottom lip, his other hand still firm around your throat. “Anyone ever tell you that you talk way too fucking much?”

“Only every day of my liMMPPHH,” you are interrupted again, this time by Karkat sliding two of his claws into your mouth, teasing at your tongue and encouraging you to suck. The feel of Jade’s lips around you down in your nether regions only encourages this and you draw his fingers into your mouth like you’re an overeager vacuum. You are the human hoover. It is you.

Jade gives your dick one last decisive suck before sliding her lips back up to the tip, releasing you to the universe and making your entire crotch ache, because as mind blowing as that felt you’re still agonizingly unfulfilled. You try not to whimper but you’re pretty sure a few sounds of that kind escape you, because Karkat is smirking again and withdrawing his fingers, his claws dripping with your saliva.

“I forgot about the noises that come out of your protein chute when everything feels good, Dave,” he whispers, his voice still a low growl. “They’re adorable.”

“Aren’t they?” Jade agrees, one of her hands continuing to stroke your dick, which feels hard enough to cut diamonds. “Poor Dave, so alone for so long, jumping around through time with no company.”

“Nothing to do but think about us back here, waiting for him?” Karkat asks, leaning back to watch as Jade pulls her dress up over her head and lets it fall to the floor behind you. He lets out an approving grunt and you feel his bulge shift against you through his pants. He’d been right, some things never changed, and the way the very sight of Jade Harley removing her clothes makes you both stand to attention was just one of them.

She’s naked underneath the dress, her hair tumbling down around her shoulders so that her breasts are just visible, and you can see that she’s already wet through the swirl of dark hair covering her slit. It all leaves just enough to the imagination to make your cock ache again, and beside you Karkat lets out a grumbling little sigh that indicates the two of you are on the same wavelength. Hell, fuck the same wavelength, if either of you had any kind of psychic powers the only time they manifested was when you were in complete agreement about how impossibly gorgeous your girlfriend-matesprit was and how badly you both wanted her.

She smiles at you and you feel your heart skip a few beats, then do some kind of ska jig. There are trombones and a sick beat. You might have to write a song for it when you’re less distracted by how Jade is naked and in front of you did you mention naked?

“Looks like one of us is still overdressed,” Jade says, winking deliberately at Karkat, who blushes, looking flustered.

“I’m getting to it,” he mumbles, his hand no longer gripping your throat but resting against your chest. “Fucking stupid pyjamas, getting in the way of everything, these pants are so tight my bulge is practically numb.”

“Guess we’d better help you out of them,” you say, leaning up to kiss his neck because _holy fuck_ he looks good. Smells good. Tastes good. Fuck, he’s Karkat Vantas, a veritable cornucopia of feasts for the human senses. If you could figure out how to do it you would wrap yourself in everything Karkat and wear him everywhere with a matching set of Jade’s overwhelming sensory extravaganza for good measure.

Karkat leans back and his hand tightens around your throat again, sending all kinds of delightfully submissive signals straight to your motor cortex. You really weren’t kidding about the chains before. “No fucking way,” he says, his voice now a purr. “We waited over a sweep for you to get your ass back to us, so now you get to sit here and watch me undress like a good boy, got it?”

You try not think about how fucking incredible it feels to have Karkat call you a good boy, mostly because even after years away you’re still getting used to how okay you are with the idea you are of your boyfriend telling you exactly what to do and praising you for doing it well. You swallow and nod, lying back on the floor and feeling Jade lie down beside you, one hand still teasing you while the other traces invisible patterns up and down your arm. You also try not to think about how warm she is beside you and about the way one of her legs slides up and hooks around yours, about how she’s pressed against you and she’s wet and hot and open, inviting you to come inside, to come play, to fill her.

Between this and seeing Karkat’s honest to fuck chiseled abs as he pulls off his shirt, you think you might pass out. Man was not made to endure this level of sexy. This shit was off the charts, scanners reading over nine thousand, alarms blaring at red alert, this is not a drill folks, this is no dress rehearsal, you are doin this man, you are makin this hapen, and you really don’t care if you aren’t ready for it, because that’s never stopped you before, it sure as fuck isn’t going to stop you now.

Karkat finally gets his pants off and you see his bulge uncoil, cherry red and already slick with his genetic material, his nook straight up dripping as he leans over you, his breathing harsh. He presses his mouth against your ear and whispers, his words burning and tingling right down your spine.

“Don’t ever make me wait an entire sweep to fuck your ass again, Strider, I swear to fucking gog I will find you and end you.”

“Yes sir,” you whisper back, surprised by how much you really aren’t joking, and he gives you a smile that’s all teeth before he grabs your shoulder and shoves you hard onto your side so that you’re facing Jade, who puts one hand on your hip and rests the other against your cheek, keeping you steady. Her eyes are sparkling like emeralds and she lets out the softest of gasps as you clumsily reach up to put a hand on her chest, your fingers toying at her nipple until she starts to shift and squirm, pressing her body against you a little harder, a little closer.

The three of you had talked about doing this before, hell, you’d had long elaborate discussions and fantasies played out over the chronologically-unbounded memo functions of your respective chat clients, but there was a big difference between talking about having your two partners turn you into a human-alien fuck sandwich and actually experiencing the feeling of your girlfriend’s thighs slick with her own juices inches from your cock, the feeling of your boyfriend’s alien dick carefully probing at your ass as he wraps an arm around your stomach to hold you in place.

The tip of his bulge teases at your hole and you draw in a sharp breath, the entire lower half of your body feeling like it’s about to go volcanic. “Go slow,” you gasp out as he slides himself in gently, just barely, slick but still huge, has Karkat’s bulge always been this thick? Has your ass always been this tight? Jegus hell you were going to have to spend a lot of time with his junk in your trunk to get to a point where you wouldn’t be walking funny for a few days after every marathon bone session.

Not that you’re complaining. Does it sound like you’re complaining, because no way are you complaining about how your boyfriend is going to have to make a regular event out of exploring your human nooks and crannies _oh holy fuck he’s inside you and his bulge is twisting in you like you’re a pig on a prehensile spit roast merry fucking christmas and a happy new year you have forgotten how to breathe._

“Okay?” you hear Karkat gasp behind you. His free hand is tousled in your hair, tugging down just enough to keep your head still. Between that and the half-hug he’s got you in, you are completely at his mercy. Just the way you love it.

“Ohhhh yeah,” you breathe out and breathe in, your hand still playing at Jade’s nipple, albeit lazily because it’s hard to focus on anything when you’re stuffed to the gills full of writhing alien tentaboner, but you’re making a valiant effort here, like any sane man would. “Ground control to Major Tom, countdown commencing engines are motherfucking on.” You’re talking a little fast, and is your voice a little high? It’s hard to tell, you’re a little distracted by _ohfuck he’s flexing his junk, you are feeling every inch of that beautiful alien tentacle nestled snug inside you and your dick is so hard it might fall off, angels and ministers of grace defend us man was not meant to feel pleasure like this, you are going to ascend to another plane of existence if he keeps this up FUCK he’s keeping it up GOD YES HE IS._

“Jegus,” you can hear Karkat rolling his eyes at your babbling. “Jade, do us all a favour and shut him up.”

“With pleasure,” Jade grins and leans forward, her body well and truly flush against you as she gives you a kiss that leaves you gasping for air. You feel her reach back behind her and hear a tearing foil sound, glance down to see her hand slip down to unroll a condom down the length of you and you say a silent prayer to any gods that might be listening, thanking them for the fact that Jade is on top of that, because what with the bulge exploring your entire inner workings you’ve kind of forgotten to account for human protective measures.

And then you don’t feel bad for forgetting because in a slow instant you feel Jade hitch up her hips and press close to you and _ohhhh holy fuck_ she is absolutely soaking wet and you fit inside her so easily, so sweetly. In your head angels are singing the hallelujah chorus at the same pitch as her gasp, which is high and breathy and sends you into an even more intense sensory overload. Her hair falls around her face and between you and her breasts are against your chest, one hand on your back and the other still on your cheek as her eyes flutter shut, her hips carefully and slowly moving.

Behind you Karkat is breathing heavily, his lips pressed against your neck, and you feel him slide a hand across you to hold Jade by the hip, feeling out the rhythm she begins to create, sliding back and forth around you slowly and deliberately so that you feel every inch of your cock moving in and moving out, and as you feel the white hot need of your orgasm starting to build, you try to hold on because _ohgodohfuck_ Karkat is matching her moves, timing his own thrusts inside you to be in line with hers, his bulge slithering deeper into you as she pulls away and sliding slowly back as she grinds against you so that you fill her up completely.

It’s too much, a symphony of sensations and hands curling in your hair, gripping your legs, dragging fingernails along backs and chests. Karkat bites down on your shoulder hard enough to make you cry out but gentle enough for it to feel good and in front of you Jade continues to plant soft kisses against your lips, pausing only to let out short gasping breaths that intermingle with her whispering your name _Dave… Dave… oh Dave…_

You hear Karkat whispering too, their voices turning into a chorus of whispered names and panted expletives, of pleasure and of the final relief of the agony of being apart for so long, of being alone and not being able to feel this, _oh god_ , feel all of this, feel both of them together with you, their bodies one with you, their need as burning and desperate as yours as they fill you, consume you, complete you.

Jade’s breathing becomes more shallow and Karkat’s grunts turn into soft groans, his thrusting and curling motions picking up speed as Jade begins to buck and grind against you harder, clinging to you as her orgasm starts to rise. Her face is flushed and her breath gets ragged and behind you Karkat reaches around to run his claws down her back, pinning her to you so the three of you are squeezed so tight together you can hardly breathe. You feel your own climax rising dangerously close as Jade moves faster and harder around you, warm and wet and gasping and screaming, _oh fuck_ she’s screaming your name, screaming Karkat’s name, her head jerks back and she lets out a howl, an honest to fuck howl, as she comes all around you, clenching and trembling and practically drenching you in a flood of her overwhelming pleasure.

You can’t hold on much longer, not with the way this feels, and your own breath starts to hitch faster, your own gasps turning into moans, ragged cries of names, their names, the hauntingly beautiful woman in front of you _(Jade, oh fuck, Jade!)_ and the impossibly gorgeous man behind you _(Karkat, fuck, please, yes, Karkat! Yes!)_. Behind you Karkat buries his bulge as deep in you as it can go, pressing his mouth against your ear and whispering in a harsh gasp _let go, Dave, let go_.

You come hard, practically seeing stars, Jade still tight and wet around you and Karkat deep inside you, his lips against your back and her hand still on your face. You feel Karkat shuddering behind you as you empty yourself, undeniably screaming until your lungs give out. You forgot what this is like, how it feels to be completely here, in the present, and this is now, and the only thing you can think or feel is perfection, is ecstasy, is them, both of them, and you are completely and utterly undone.

There’s a ringing in your ears and you almost can’t make out the words Karkat is groaning into your back, but as the dust settles after your world-ending orgasm you make out a few of them.

“Fuck… I… I can’t…need… you… please…”

Jade shifts in front of you, removing her hand from your cheek and carefully turning enough to bring a hand down and slip it hand between your legs, reaching behind you for Karkat. You somehow understand what she’s getting at through your post-orgasmic haze and shift as best you can without letting Karkat’s bulge slide all the way out of you, giving her room to carefully slip a few fingers deep into his nook.

“Ohhhhhhhfuck,” Karkat buries his head against your shoulder and you reach back to find his hand, gripping it tight in yours, and you feel his hips bucking against both you and Jade’s hand as he gets closer and closer, panting and whispering and cursing louder and louder until he lets out one final cry, both agony and ecstasy, as he comes. You feel a torrent of hot genetic material erupting from his nook, soaking the back of your legs and Jade’s hand in a warm waterfall. You feel his forehead pressed against your shoulder and hear him whisper your name in a quiet gasp, shortly followed by Jade’s, and in front of you she smiles and leans over to give the troll a soft kiss on the shoulder.

Karkat’s shuddering gasps slowly subside and Jade leans back carefully, extracting her hand from between you and Karkat. You slide out of her with an exhausted gasp, and then follow it with a slightly louder one as Karkat slides out of you. The three of you roll onto your backs as one, staring up at the ceiling, covered in sweat and come and breathing heavily, satisfied and exhausted and spent.

You feel like you’ve just run a marathon, or fuck, you’ve just _won_ a marathon. You’re about to get a trophy and a medal, someone’s going to throw you a parade with tickertape and trombones and a cheering crowd, they’re gonna build statues in your honor because that incredible display of love and sex was something that just happened to you and you want it etched into your memory forever.

On your right, Jade slips under your arm and nestles against your shoulder, lazily giving you kisses as her hand rests on your chest. To your left Karkat wraps an arm around you and rests his head against yours, lips brushing against your temple as he rests his other hand just below Jade’s.

“So,” you say once you’ve caught your breath. “I don’t know about you guys, but that’s pretty much the best welcome back gift a guy could ask for.”

“You think so?” Jade says, giving you another billion boonbuck smile. Gog you are never gonna get used to how beautiful she is.

“Only could have been improved by you putting a bright red bow on Karkat’s bulge,” you say, grinning as Karkat lets out a little growl. “Let me unwrap him like a present.”

“Pretty sure you were the present in this exchange, chutelick,” Karkat says, poking you in the chest with a claw.

“And I was thoroughly unwrapped,” you say, leaning over to give him a kiss on the chest, making him purr contentedly. “Unwrapped, laid to waste, decimated, my shit is wrecked, truly I will never recover.”

Karkat sinks his teeth into your ear, making you yelp. “And here I thought a marathon fucking from both your matesprits would get you to stop talking.”

“Nothing can stop me,” you declare, grinning up at him brightly. “Nothing can buy my silence. I dare you to do it. Buy my silence, permanently. Eight thousand boonbucks and I will stop.”

“I thought you said things were too quiet around the house, Karkat,” Jade giggles. “You didn’t miss Dave’s linguistic gymnastics?”

“Not remotely,” Karkat says, though he’s still purring in the back of his throat. “I may not like the quiet, but I will be fucked to death with my own bulge before I admit that I missed the ridiculous torrent of shit that comes out of Strider’s seedflap on a daily basis.”

“Whatever,” you reach up and trace a circle around Karkat’s left horn, making him purr a little louder. “You love me.”

He looks down at you and his eyes soften, their red irises practically glowing in the half-light. “Yeah,” he says, smiling. “Insufferable prick or not.”

“Maybe _because_ he’s an insufferable prick?” Jade suggests, resting her head on your shoulder as she traces more invisible patterns on your skin.

“That’s your type, Karkat,” you agree. “Insufferable pricks and flighty broads who can kick your ass.”

“Pretty sure that’s your type too,” he retorts.

“Guess we all have a mutual love for insufferable pricks then,” Jade concludes, reaching over you to trace patterns around Karkat’s other horn.

He smiles. “Guess we do.”

The three of you stay that way for a while, splayed on the floor and staring up at the ceiling, half dazzled by the lights and half dazed by emotion. You still can’t believe you’re _home_ , here with the two of them at last, no more loops to navigate, no more temporal hoops to jump through. Suddenly you have all the time in the world and you nothing left to do but live your life. The three of you. Together.

**Author's Note:**

> Aaaah I finally wrote Homestuck smut I feel like I just leveled up. This was my first time participating in Drone Season and it was ridiculously fun. Thanks to Makizushi for the fantastic prompt, and to all of you for reading!


End file.
